People With Vaginas

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​Prevent and Reverse

Urinary Incontinence

Due to Prolapse​​​

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Protect and Reclaim

Your Sex Life

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Look and Touch

It is okay to look at and touch yourself. You don't need to wait for your next romantic relationship. You do not need another person or a penis to help you assess your vaginal health. You can care for yourself now. It is recommended that any observations made by intimate associates be supplemental to your own direct assessment of your body. That said, be who you are. If you are unable to look at or touch yourself for any reason, the assistance of a trusted associate or medical professional is preferable to deferring your health.

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For self-care, use a mirror to observe whether the tissues of your vulva are their normal, healthy color. Use your fingers to palpate and stretch the vulvar tissues, hymenal ring, and inner vaginal lining as far as you can reach. If the visual appearance of the tissues concerns you or if your touch causes irritation or pain, seek medical attention. There are many potential causes of irritation and pain. One simple explanation is the hormonal changes that occur during menopause. This can lead to dryness, thinning of the tissues that makes them more fragile and sensitive, and inflammation of the tissues of the vulva and interior vaginal lining. These symptoms may vary greatly from one vagina to another.

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Urinary Incontinence

Urinary incontinence means you are peeing or leaking urine from your bladder through your urethra when you do not intend to.​

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Prolapse

Prolapse is the descent of pelvic organs. Prolapse of the bladder and uterus may cause unusual pressure upon the bladder and urethra. Signs may include: 1) inability to completely empty the bladder such that there is a feeling of needing to urinate soon after having completed urination; 2) spraying of urine rather than a coherent, vertical stream of outflowing urine; and 3) a mass extending into the interior vaginal space, sometimes encroaching upon or protruding from the opening.

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Remedy​​

A simple remedy for prolapse and restoration of normal bladder function is the use of a vibrator in the shape of a penis. The vibration stimulates blood flow to the tissues. The penile shape allows for penetration into the vagina to push against prolapsed organs. When used consistently, over time, the vagina can once again hold an open shape and the bladder can regain normal control and urinary flow.

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Use the vibrator as often as your schedule permits up to 7 times per week (once per day) for 15 minutes. Once the problem is resolved, you can experiment with backing off of the frequency and/or duration as desired, but still often enough to maintain the desired health.

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Every body and every vagina is different. Progress toward health may be undermined by discontinuing the remedy for long periods of time. It is recommended to be as consistent as possible and avoid interruptions as long as a week or more. Having gained your desired health, it can be frustrating to lose ground and to endure the slow progress back to your prior health.

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Use It or Lose It!

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Procurement

These days, anything can be purchased online. This affords anonymity in purchasing an object that may be embarrassing for some. However, the vibrator is an intimate object and it is advisable to see and touch the item before purchasing. This takes one to the realm of "sex toy" stores. An online search of "sex toys for vagina [City]" will yield stores that are vagina-friendly, health conscious, and whose employees are sensitive to your needs.

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There are many shapes and configurations of vibrators. You want to purchase a basic vibrator that is in a true penile form. That is, you want to maximize contact between the vibrator and your vaginal tissues. A vibrator that has a large bulb attached to a thin wand will not serve you well. A larger tip is acceptable, provided the shaft of the vibrator is still substantially large to maintain tissue contact.

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You need to know the desired diameter of the vibrator. A common effect of menopause is the loss of elasticity of vaginal tissues. To maintain flexibility of tissues, it is recommended to use a vibrator that has a diameter that is slightly larger than what the vaginal opening can comfortably stretch to. You can measure this by inserting multiple fingers to find the optimal size. Remove your fingers and measure to know how many inches diameter you need. You may also use peeled banana or cucumber to test for the right size. Bring the measuring tape with you to the store. Find a salesperson and let them know the size and shape you are seeking. They should be able to easily point you to the models that fit your criteria. When you find a vibrator you like, verify the size by taking your own measurement of the actual vibrator outside of the box.

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Vibrator Etiquette

Don't Share

Your vibrator is an intimate item for your use only.

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Lubrication

Unless you have extraordinary natural moisture to enable the vibrator to slide easily in and out, use lubrication. The store where you buy the vibrator will offer to sell you, at a price, a boutique lubricant specially formulated to not irritate you and that is not harmful to the environment. Beware that some such boutique formulas may degrade the surface of the vibrator. Common lubricant brands found in most drugstores include Astroglide and K-Y Jelly, both of which offer water-based products that will not degrade the vibrator surface.

 

Cleaning & Drying

Wash and dry the vibrator before first use and after every use. You can buy boutique cleaning fluids. Ordinary dish soap works fine, too. If you start to notice any change to the feel of the vibrator surface, try changing the lubricant and/or the soap you are using. Ensure the vibrator is dry before storing to prevent any growth of undesired organisms.

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Using It

Have on hand the vibrator, lubricant, a small towel, a clean, private location. Arrange the environment to support your vaginal maintenance activity: arrange pillows on bed, pull bath mat next to tub, lock the door. Lubricate the vibrator, trying to keep one hand clean so that you don't get lubricant all over the control buttons. Wipe the hand that spread the lubricant on the towel.

 

Take your desired position: 1) Supine (face up); 2) Prone (face down); 3) Standing with one foot elevated, such as resting on the edge of the bed or bathtub; 4) Use your imagination.

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When in your desired position, hold tip of vibrator to vaginal opening where you will contact the hymenal ring. Let vibration bring blood to these tissues. When you can do so comfortably, push the vibrator fully into the vagina. There is no need to overthink this, but, generally, it's good to spread the love. Try pressing the vibrator against different vaginal surfaces--front, back, sides, as high up as possible, sliding in and out to different degrees, pushing against the surfaces of the hymenal ring--front, back, sides.

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When finished, pull the vibrator fully out and turn off. Wash the vibrator by hand with soap (or specialty cleaning fluid) and water. Dry with a clean cloth. Return vibrator to storage.

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Storing

Store your vibrator and charging cable in a safe, dry, clean place where it will not be found or disturbed by anyone else.

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Charging

Charge your vibrator in a place where it will not be disturbed.

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Privacy

Conduct vaginal maintenance at a time and in a location that ensures your privacy. This is no one's business but your own. If you are conducting maintenance in the bedroom, be sure you have a clear path to a sink to wash your vibrator after use.

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Sex

In addition to vaginal maintenance, you may use your vibrator for sexual gratification . However, it is recommended only to do this if you are able to make a clear distinction between the two purposes: sex versus vaginal maintenance. Otherwise, confusion may undermine the consistency of practicing vaginal maintenance, which is the primary objective.

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sexual gratification: confusion that this reflects your sexual appetite. Differentiate

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Resources

Pelvic Floor Therapy

Revaree

Yuvafem

HRT

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Disclaimer

Use the information provided here at your own risk. All information provided here is supplied by a person whose only qualification is that they possess a vagina and have had their own personal experience with Using It or Losing It. This information is not supplied by a doctor, nurse, or by a person with medical training. If you have pain or a condition that does not resolve with the simple measures discussed here, seek medical attention.

 

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Culture Shock

Regardless of whether the measures mentioned here are helpful for you, you should still pursue regular medical checkups with qualified medical professionals. Be prepared for medical professionals to express a lack of comprehension and lack of support for the self care you have undertaken. The overriding sentiment in American culture is that people with vaginas should not be touching themselves "down there." Congratulations to you for overcoming this prejudice and taking care of yourself!

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There are medical practitioners who promote vaginal health beyond the conventional scope of obstetrical/gynecological practice. These are practitioners who know how to evaluate your hormonal balance and prescribe a custom formula for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) using biocompatible ingredients.

 

No More Hysterectomies, Hufnagel 

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and feel for a healthy pink color. If the tissues are red or purpleTo discover whether simple measures

can put an end to peeing on yourself.

To reclaim your dignity.

To protect your sexuality.

To create alternatives to unnecessary

hysterectomies  and the use of diapers. ​​​​

 

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Neonatal Intensive Care Unit​

​​​While your baby may need intensive medical care,

this does not alter the fundamental need of your

baby to be seen and heard, and to be in resonant

connection with you, their parent. Your baby’s

emotional, somatic, and energetic needs

are not separate from their health.

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The basic indicators tracked in the neonatal intensive care

unit (NICU) are heart rate, respiratory rate, oxygen saturation

level, blood pressure, and digestive processes. These measures

are determined by physiological processes controlled by your

baby’s autonomic nervous system (ANS). The ANS is that part

of the nervous system that functions without conscious direction.

We do not “tell” our body to beat the next heart beat

or take the next breath, but these things happen

due to regulation by the ANS.

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The forced isolation of the NICU is sufficient to cause

the dysregulation of your baby’s ANS. Their heart rate

may spike or drop. Their respiratory rate may rise.

Their oxygen saturation level may drop. If these

events are sustained or repeated with high frequency,

they may trigger medical interventions by NICU personnel.  

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There are many instances in which ANS dysregulation

can be ameliorated through coregulation with the baby’s

caregivers. When parents are able to spend time in

conscious connection with their baby in the NICU, this

supports healthy regulation of the baby’s ANS. However,

it is not always possible for parents to be present. You

may authorize the holding of your child by others in

your absence. Some NICUs have cuddlers whose sole

purpose is to comfort NICU babies. Zephyr is available

to spend quality time with your baby when you are

unable to be present.

 

For further discussion of coregulation and examples

from Zephyr's experience of coregulation with babies in

the NICU, see Chapter 1 of their forthcoming book, 

Trauma Integration in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

The last vignette, Reed, explores responding to the emergent

condition of a decreasing oxygen saturation level through

the medical intervention of bubble continuous positive

airway pressure (BCPAP) versus through coregulation.​

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Kilometer Thirteen supports families in their homes after the baby

has departed the NICU. There can be many residual

feelings from the birth story, including experiences at the

hospital, that may interfere with bonding and attachment,

feeding, sleeping, and ability to soothe.

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Elaboration of Kilometer Thirteen's NICU support

services and care objectives can be found here.

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Traumatic Birth​

​​​Traumatic birth experiences do not always include a

stay in the NICU. A birth that is long in duration or

uncertain or high-risk or lonely or painful may induce

trauma. As trauma is a function of the individual person's

perception, what one person may deem ordinary, another

may find traumatic. Kilometer Thirteen supports families

to recover from traumatic birth.

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Recovery from Traumatic Birth may be supported by

the same protocols that support resolution of NICU

trauma. Please refer to NICU support services

and care objectives, here.

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Adults Who Were Once Babies

The same principles and support mechanisms that serve

neonates and infants in the NICU also support the healing

of adults. Individuals seeking support to move through a stuck place

in their life may benefit from participation in a womb surround

process workshop (womb surround). This is a highly efficient and

effective mechanism for healing old patterns that are interfering

with present life. The womb surround format was created

by Ray Castellino to provide individual adults with the

support of a social nervous system. More information

about womb surrounds can be found here.

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Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy

Quite similar to coregulation between caregiver and baby, the

biodynamic craniosacral therapist and client come into a

resonance that supports access to higher orders of the body's

capacity to reorganize for health. Biodynamic craniosacral

therapy is an excellent modality for supporting trauma 

release and nervous system regulation for people of

all ages. More information about biodynamic

craniosacral therapy can be found here.